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Some times I wonder if life is worth it anymore… And I think physical pain can replace emotional pain…
An Arab Diplomat gets into a New York City taxi. He demands the driver to turn off the radio and explains that he must not hear music as decreed by his religion, for in the time of the prophet, there was no music and no radio. So the cabbie shrugs, turns off the radio, stops the car, leans over and opens the back door. The Arab asks him : “What are you doing? “The cabbie replies: In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so get out my cab and wait for a freakin camel to come along.”
Daddy It Hurts This is A TRUE STORY
My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.
I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better,
I wish I weren’t ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.
I can’t do a wrong,
I can’t speak at all,
Or else I’m locked up,
All day long.
When I’m awake,
I’m all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren’t home.
When my mummy does come home,
I’ll try and be nice,
So maybe I’ll just get,
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie’s bar
I hear him curse,
My name is called,
I press myself,
Against the wall.
I try to hide,
From his evil eyes,
I’m so afraid now,
I’m starting to cry.
He finds me weeping,
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault,
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me,
And yells at me more,
I finally get free,
And run to the door.
He’s already locked it,
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me,
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor,
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues,
With more bad words spoken.
‘I’m sorry!’, I scream,
But it’s now much to late,
His face has been twisted,
Into a unimaginable shape.
The hurt and the pain,
Again and again,
O please let it end!
And he finally stops,
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless,
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Chris,
I am three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.
(No offense to dyslexics, I just thought this was funny)
Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout, “Air in the hands mother stickers, this is a fuck up!”
Sometimes when you’re sad, no one cares. Sometimes when you cry, no one sees. Sometimes when you leave no one notices. But fart just one time…
Nice one Captain Obvious.
You’re welcome, Sergeant Sarcasm! Indeed, Comrade Comeback.
Thank you, Senior Smartass.
Anytime, Dictator Dickhead.
